We have all sat through countless mind-numbing PowerPoint presentations, and we all deserve an award for doing so. These presentations have become so boring that even opening Microsoft PowerPoint produces a collective sigh of despair from audiences everywhere. PowerPoint presentations have turned into black holes for creativity.
The audiences are not suffering alone. It is as though we have accepted the boring fate of PowerPoint in that we continue to perpetuate its bleak reputation. We create one dull presentation after another. The following are the top ten tips and tricks to continue to effectively bewilder and bore your audience with PowerPoint presentations.
Disclaimer: Using any or all of these so-called tips may be detrimental to your sanity as well as to the sanity of those around you. You could also lose your job. Laugh at this list, but then ignore it completely. Instead, look at our comparison of the top PowerPoint tutorials to learn the best tips and tricks of creating effective PowerPoints. We suggest looking into Virtual Training Company, Lynda.com or TeachUComp.
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- Animate, animate, animate. Every slide, title, word, bullet point, graphic, and photo needs its own unique animation. Why do you think PowerPoint gives you so many animation options? Once you run out of those, make your own zigzagging custom animation paths.
- Time your slide transitions. And make them short, too. This will cause you to race through your material and speak inhumanly fast. Your audience won't understand a word, but that won't matter because you will have just covered an entire meeting's worth of content in a little over two minutes. Pat yourself on the back.
- Speak only in monotone. Varying the pitch of your voice wastes valuable energy and could possibly interest or excite your audience.
- Pack as much text as you can on each slide. All empty space is a waste of space.
- How fun is clipart? Make sure you put at least three clipart pictures on each side. The animated ones are your best options.
- Have some fun with font colors. Neon yellow text is your new best friend. Put it on a black background for a cool, glow-in-the dark, headache-inducing effect. Put it on a white background if you don't want anyone to be able to read it.
- While you're at it, sample every font type you can find. Don't limit yourself to the selection on PowerPoint. Download more. Get the kinds that are really swirly and extravagant, as those will really get your point across. It's even better if you use a different font for each slide, or for each line of each slide.
- Separate your ideas with bullet points. Or your sentences. Or your words. In fact, for maximum emphasis, assign each bullet point only one word.
- Use 64-point font on the most important slides, and 11-point font on the least important slides.
- The best way to get your point across is to repeat it. Repeat it on every slide, if you have to. It's important that your audience understands exactly where you're coming from, so tell them. Over and over and over.
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